Hipster

Think For Yourself, You Hipster

I went through this phase once. I wouldn’t listen to bands other people listened to. Any brand name or new clothing I had stuck out that year in my closet. I was a vegetarian. I dreamed day and night of living in Portland. I was undeniably hipster and called out on it for the majority of 2007. The memory seems faint and ridiculous to me now.

Vegetarianism is not ridiculous. Thrifting isn’t ridiculous. Listening to unknown, local indie bands isn’t ridiculous. But before I did each of those things at the time, I thought about their perception.

And now. Now, nothing fucking annoys me more than a group of thoughtless hipsters who drink PBR ironically, listen to the latest in the indie phenomenon and loudly talk about how weird their taste is. Yeah man, I don’t really care if plaids not in style or if kids make fun of my loafers, I’m just doing me. Really? Plaid is totally in style. Every fucktard on the block is decked out in plaid and Toms.

No matter what style you fall under, whether you’re deliberately trying to fit in with a certain style or you are being yourself and happen to match it, there’s a blueprint for each category of person, and you’re bound to fit within it. But the point of hipsterdom is yourself. Or, at least it was, right? Don’t go along with the mainstream society of meat eaters, be a vegan. Don’t buy new, buy antique. Blah blah blah.

Its time to admit that hipsterdom is the mainstream. You’re vegan because it’s hip to be. You’re a thrifter because it’s hip to be. You wear plaid and a full beard because of its hip.

You keep thinking that people don’t get you and your oh-so-unique style with your Mumford and Sons and your beach cruiser bike. But they do. They get you. You’re just not that interesting. 

If something you like happens to fall into the realm of hipsterdom, awesome, love it. No problems. If somethings been dubbed lame or you, like, really love meat, do that. If you like Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch in a totally embarrassing, non-ironic way, do you, man, do you. 

But seriously, for the sake of your future children, quit following trends blindly even trends that claim to be offbeat and unique because they’re not. I was pretty sure that the man-scarf-with-a-t-shirt look is the parachute pant of our day.